“It’s not that I don’t love him. It’s just that I’m afraid of telling him the truth” explained my client. She had fallen deeply in love and, naturally, she concluded that she had met ‘the one’.

Now, 9 months into their relationship, my client was confused. Her feelings of love remained as strong as ever but she found herself on an emotional roller coaster. Her boyfriend was loving, attentive and kind most of the time and then would ignore her phone calls for days.

My client had a strong desire to have an authentic, conscious relationship. She was open to discovering how this relationship would move her towards true love. Not love based on likes or dislikes, or on trying to win approval, or ignoring her own needs for the sake of her partners. Rather, a love that illuminates the Truth; that everyone is connected as one, as Love.

Fortunately she was learning to strengthen her emotional container. She knew that her feelings and emotions were not the best gauge of the truth of her experience. She recognized that her boyfriend’s behavior gave her practice in seeing through her contracted emotions, strengthening her ability to navigate uncertainty and upset, a skill she had not developed as a child.

It’s rare that children are given the necessary safety and security from their parents to learn how to process fear and intense emotion. Many children cope by withdrawing their life energy from their physical and emotional bodies to minimize feeling pain and discomfort. My client recognized that her boyfriend’s behavior reminded her of her mother who was occasionally engaged and present, but mostly emotionally absent.

With practice, my client learned to maintain her energy and consciousness throughout her physical, emotional and mental bodies, whilst staying in the relationship dance with her boyfriend. As she did this her perception was increasingly informed by the intelligence of her heart. She became clearer of two seemingly opposite truths. One, that her boyfriend’s behavior was not a good fit for her, and two, that she truly loved him.

In her everyday mind these two perceptions were incompatible. Yet, the more she was open to experiencing both, instead of trying to understand, or reconcile them, she began to see that her love was as strong as it was because she saw herself in her boyfriend. Not only did she see that her insecurities were similar to his, she also saw what was deeper – the love that lies underneath all contracted human states.

In many relationships where two people share similar unhealed aspects of consciousness, their contracted emotional states become merged. Each person’s individuality gets lost and unhealthy patterns can only occur and reoccur. However, because my client began to operate from a mature heart center, instead of becoming entangled with him, she was able to stay focused on seeing the love mirrored back from his soul.

She began to experience that she and her partner were aspects of the same intelligence that is love. The more she saw this Truth, the more his actions no longer triggered her. She simply saw that his behavior arose out of unhealed aspects in him. She also saw how she could be honest with her boyfriend about the relationship not being right for her, and remain in a state of love towards him.

In ending the relationship my client had found true love, a clarity of perception which, when allowed, can only guide you into a greater state of love.

How is your perception of true love maturing? Come share in the comments below.

P.S. If you’re curious to find out how to tap into the intelligence and wisdom of love already inside you, drop me a line. We’ll have a chat to find out what’s going on for you and how you can live with greater ease, happiness and freedom.

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