In a recent conversation with a client we explored the subject of boundaries.

Not the garden fence variety 😉 although if your neighbors are unfriendly this conversation may help with that too.

Boundaries occur in all relationships.

They are often described as a protective shield, to prevent or avoid undesirable interactions with others.

But a closer look reveals that boundaries are not solid. They are a decision made according to what looks real in the moment.

When we identify as a limited and lacking ego-self we become hypersensitive to the words and actions of others.

We unconsciously scan interactions for signs of being exposed or judged.

This diminishes our capacity to accurately interpret the voice tone and gestures of others, and exaggerates the tendency to take offense.

We then become predisposed to being triggered into defensive actions of blame, attack, withdrawal or blocking other people when there may be no real threat or insult.

The remedy for hypersensitivity is to turn inwards. To open to and see through the insecure ego-identity and realize the unbroken essence of the true self.

As the fragile belief-based-ego-identity falls away healing happens and the need to protect against inner wounds softens.

In place of reactivity, awareness and presence enters as understanding and perspective, and the capacity to act from clarity and compassion increases.

Now, interactions become spacious.

The need to hold boundaries to protect a fragile ego-self is replaced with open-ness and curiosity.

New learning occurs to navigate relationships informed by the wisdom and love of the true self.

This shift allows our authentic voice to speak, unafraid of being judged or disliked, which opens up new possibilities.

And when our authentic voice emerges as a decision to step away from a relationship, it speaks from love, not out of a need to protect an insecure ego-self.

So, stay true to your heart. Authentic voices are voices for justice, integrity, love and peace.

Love,

Fiona


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