I was recently asked: “How do relationships change after awakening?”
To my surprise I laughed out loud.
Not because the question was insincere, and not because I didn’t intend to offer a considered reply.
After a pause, clarity tumbled into awareness and a memory surfaced.
I grew up without understanding what real love is.
I believed love was when other people showed their approval, gave attention, validation or a sense of comfort and security. I didn’t know my belief was just a sliver of the truth.
My belief that love came from other people obscured awareness of the love and wholeness of my true nature.
This misunderstanding led me seek love from other people and try really hard to make relationships work.
But seeking ‘out there’ always leads to suffering because it leads away from the truth that exists within. So relationships were often a source of disappointment and confusion.
Then, after various minuscule and momentous awakenings, the elaborate belief-made perception of ‘me’ as a separate lacking self collapsed. And with it, the belief that love comes from other people came undone.
It’s clear to me now that it makes no sense to expect other people to fulfill, secure, or make us happy (and I’m not saying not to have relationships!)
As we wake up to the truth, we discover that wholeness, satisfaction, fulfillment, love and happiness is our true nature.
With this understanding there is no need for relationships to change or be anything other than they are.
All need to control, manipulate, compromise, barter, and beg for love, approval and security comes to an end.
Instead of trying to make relationships go well we become free to express and share the love we are, without fear of rejection or interest in power plays and drama.
Relationships form, strengthen, sustain and let go from a place of clarity, love and compassion.
And when another enters into this understanding there is simply one infinite being, appearing as two, dancing in the space of love.
A place and space to go deeper…Join us in the Awakening Circle
The Awakening Circle is an online gathering of like-hearted people who share a desire to know the truth about who and what we are and how life works.
As this understanding integrates we live more and more in alignment with love, integrity, and authentic purpose.
Members have access to one live meeting a month, a monthly video reflection, and answers to questions via email and video Q and A.
Please join us, your first month is free.
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