The belief we need to love ourself comes at us from all directions; media, culture, psychology and even spirituality.
It seems to make sense – the idea is certainly seductive. The implication is; if you don’t love yourself you won’t enjoy your life or attain spiritual enlightenment.
I raise my hand to taking an ultimately futile journey to love myself.
Now, I’m grateful every day for the peace, love and joy freely available by dropping the search.
There is a very short answer to the question; ‘Why isn’t it necessary to love yourself?’
You are love, I am love, they are love, all of life is love. That’s it. The beginning and the end of reality.
Trying to love yourself is like a dog trying to catch its tail.
You cannot find, capture or secure what you already are.
Real love is not the canned, romanticized, idealized version portrayed in culture. It’s much more expansive and powerful.
Real love is unconditional. In every instance, every circumstance.
The love you are is accepting, welcoming, all embracing.
When feelings of numbness and disconnect arise – open to them. Drop the measuring stick. Uncover your fearless capacity to embrace what’s here now.
When shame and self loathing arise – listen deeper than mental analysis, defense and resistance. Listen for incomplete, handed-down, stress-made beliefs that flare as self hatred.
When emptiness and loneliness arise bring them close. Let go judgment and futurized fears. Rest into the layers of discomfort deep in the body.
Allow each and every mind-made layer of pain and discomfort that claims you don’t love yourself to become an opening. To reveal the truth of what you are.
Our greatest work is to know what we are.
Emotional pain is like a cloud blocking the sun. The closer you get to the cloud, the cloud gives up its solid-real-looking appearance and the light of truth pierces awareness.
There’s nothing wrong with pampering and indulging yourself or posting smiling selfies. But be honest. Spa days and selfies don’t dissolve beliefs.
To seek love for who you are is inevitable. The ego is set up to seek, seek and keep seeking. The release from seeking begins when fatigue and despondency occur.
Getting tired of seeking is a gifted moment. It is natural intelligence whispering – the love you are is veiled by misunderstood, unexamined feelings and beliefs.
The simplest route to being and living the love you are is to give up the search.
Stop trying. Let your experience take the shape of a causeless and blameless crucible.
Allow awareness to swing wide and deep.
In the intimacy with what’s arising here, now, the search loses all potency and you return to undeniable wholeness, peace and love that you never left.
Be the presence of the love you are and live from that.
Working one-on-one with me
Every week I talk with people to dissolve the sticky web of feelings and beliefs that prevent their true nature showing up as peace, love, happiness and wholeness.
This exploration is not a quick fix. It’s a permanent shift that heals and transforms your life to unlock your potential to express fully.
Seeing through deeply held beliefs and patterns takes skill, clarity and deep listening. An experienced guide can help.
Over the past thirty years I’ve supported hundreds of people integrate deep healing and awareness of their true nature in their life, health and work.
One-one work is for people who:
Want to awaken and embody the love, happiness and wisdom or their true nature.
Unlock their potential for physical, emotional and spiritual healing.
Create heart centered conscious relationships.
Fulfill their work in the world.
If this sounds like the work you feel called to do, here’s how to be sure:
Click here to read about working with me.
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