Person A: “It’s all your fault.”
Person B: “No, it’s all your fault.”
The blame game has begun.
Sometimes the game is nothing more than a lighthearted spat. At other times it escalates into a knock-out drag-out war.
How did we get here? What’s the remedy?
The origin of the blame game extends all the way back to the beginning….to childhood when every human is conditioned to believe we are separate from each other.
Before the belief in separation takes hold the baby experiences itself, other people, and objects as a constant boundary-less-flow of sensations, images, smells, sounds, and textures.
In this world there is no ‘me’ and no ‘you’. Simply a multiplicity of sensations coming and going in the space of non-judging awareness.
When a baby wails with hunger she/he does not blame someone for not being there. There is simply an intelligently wired mind-body sensing hunger and communicating “Please feed me”.
But make no mistake. When the belief; ‘I am separate from you’ solidifies in the psyche other people become a potential friend or foe. A source of love or threat.
Sages have long taught us to question the appearance of the world. Stating that the appearance of separate objects is an illusion. Quantum physicists make the same assertion. Together they claim we are one energy, Consciousness, Spirit, Love.
Thankfully we don’t need to leave the world behind to follow a guru or buckle down and study quantum physics to experience the paradigm shift of this truth.
We simply need to open to the pain of the blame game and witness the unconditional love of our being melt the belief in separation along with the fear and defensiveness of ‘othering’.
When the illusion of separation yields we see the ‘other’ under the burden of the belief in separation, and our heart flows compassion for the suffering this creates.
This shift is a return to reality. Instead of a contentious space between ‘you’ and ‘them’ an alchemic, transformative space opens up that nurtures healing, new learning, and synergy.
Now the conditions for resolving differences and acting collaboratively become possible. This is the magic and promise of all relationships. To express and experience love.
Love,
Fiona
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